Remember
by Amoridere
Summary: "None of us could have seen otherwise and, frankly, I wish we had. "


She was hospitalized some while ago. She was put in a nice place, with a nice view. Of course, she lives there now, as, due to circumstances, she couldn't live back home. She had lived for so long being sane, being strong, and living within a shell, yet, under it all her, foundations had crumbled away. None of us could have seen otherwise and, frankly, I wish we had. I wish we could have done something to help and save her from herself.

I remember something wasn't right when she suddenly started to avoid us, her friends, her long lost sister, and even Butler Dude. _Depression. That's probably it._ I figured. It had been some time since it had all came to an end and she's spent about a decade and three years plotting, planning, and putting up a front to make herself seem as ruthless as the womb from which we came. Her one purpose was to avenge the ones she thought she's lost and to get revenge against our mother, so to fulfill that purpose would leave someone rather empty. Perhaps it was best that she'd heal and search for a new purpose once she has healed.

Time went on and she never got better. If she wasn't depressed, then she seemed to be full of rage. She didn't often lash out but when she did, she did. Eventually, along with the depression, she seemed to have become what Mako called an MP3 player stuck on shuffle, constantly changing moods. For a moment, she would be in a fever driven rage, while in others she just shut down, a shell. Eventually, it seemed like she didn't know us or even herself anymore. She stopped getting up out of bed and only ate whenever. She would lie in bed, awake, with a scared look on her face, or her screams would wake me up if I stayed over. If she spoke, then none of us understand what she trying to say, and, if she did anything besides lie in bed, then she did would spend a rather great deal of time staring of into nothing or wandering around the house talking to herself. Once she called my name, yet she didn't seem to see me.

I was so close, yet so far away from her. She didn't seem to remember that. I would die a little when she would mistake me for Ragyou or even so much as thought we'd hurt her like that. A hug that we could give for comfort made her pull away in pain, like a hurt puppy. Her deliriums had convinced her that I was the little sister who had died the moment she was dropped down the garbage chute and had apologized for making me pretend to be her.

"Satsuki," I would say, "I am your little sister and I am not pretending to be her because I am her and my name is Ryuuko." to which she would respond, "No, my little sister never had a name and she died those years ago. I am sorry I am putting you through this." Of course, she did thank me for staying with her but that didn't make it any better, actually, it made it worse. I didn't know what to do besides stay with her.

Eventually, it all exploded. It was all a blur and everything just seemed to be gray. I was just coming home to her house when I saw an ambulance and the Devas with Mako and boy looks like a girl standing outside. They looked shocked and as soon as Mako saw me, I was wrapped in her arms. I continued to ask what had happened over and over, yet the answer I had got was, "Ryuuko, we'll take you to the hospital."

Before I could go in and see her, the doctors and nurses sat me down and explained to me what had happened. I couldn't believe it, no, and it hit me harder than Fukuroda's glove or finding out when she was our mother. My sister, one of the strongest people I had known, had tried to end her life. After giving some time to take it all in, they offered me their sincerest condolences, however, they informed me it was best that we hand her over to a mental hospital. As we spoke, we heard glass breaking and screaming. It was painful to watch and it was clear that we were given no choice. She wasn't going to recover.

When she healed, she was moved away to where she is now. I made it a habit of visiting her and sitting with her apathetic self for hours at a time. I wanted to bring some of her back, help her remember what she had forgotten. After some time of doing this, I opted to tell her goodbye for good and leave. However, as I worked out how, I felt my tears being wiped away and her saying my name. She hugged me for a while, saying, _"I love you forever, baby sister, Ryuuko."_

She finally remembered me. In this world of fever dreams, rage, depression, and being locked away, she had one moment where her mind was free. I wish that moment had stayed forever, more than just a memory, but it had to end. When she had let go, she sent me away, doing what she, in what remained of her mind, thought was best and that was setting me free. She wanted me to be happy, releasing a bird from cage that she herself could not escape from.

I promised her I would visit her again, to which she said, "Take care of them and yourself for me, Ryuuko Matoi."

* * *

**Authoress Notes:**

This came on a bit of whim and as I thought about the implications of the story in relation to Satsuki and her mother's abuse, figuring, "Hmm, there is no way someone would come out of all of that sane or not having some problems in the future."

Naturally, people would assume Satsuki is mentally okay (aside from suffering nightmares) and, canon-wise, she probably is, then again, that is what we see, so I figured this could be what we don't see, as trauma isn't always apparent and, kept in, it can blow to a head.


End file.
